That’s right folks, I gone got myself a brand spanking new pair of sneakers. My excitement for these new sneaks is so large that I could only express myself in ebonics.
I came across these bad boys during a desperate search for a pair of nude pumps. I have a family wedding this weekend and I needed shoes. Needed. But, as a descendant of Casper the friendly ghost, it is nearly impossible for me to find a beige anything that doesn’t make me look sickly. But with the help of a very sassy sales associate James, I tempted my fair skinned fate and tried on every pale, sand, oatmeal, khaki, and coffee colored heel that Bloomingdales has to offer. By some miracle, James and I were able to narrow it down to two pairs that didn’t make my foot look a fungus infected prop from a zombie movie.
At this point, the only remaining concern was whether or not the shoes would match the dress. So after a quick Google search I found my dress… paired with bright red pumps. Bright red. A normal person might have ignored this alternative color pairing after so seriously committing to a different option. But I was elated! I was free from all the misery and trappings of taupe!
A few moments after this revelation, I had my eyes locked on a pair of coral pointed toe pumps. I had James bring them over, only to discover they were 65% off. I could have left at this point, glee in my heart and lots of extra money in my wallet. But I didn’t. I could feel the gamblers rush. I was on a lucky streak and I wasn’t about to fold. I took one more lap around the floor when I my gaze fell upon the above sneakers. They were not on sale. My sales streak might have ended, but I was not about to give up on my new sole mates.
When I added the cost of the sneakers to the sale price of the pumps, the total still came in way under what I was expecting to spend on the now obsolete off white pumps. Boom. Bang. Purchase justified. the case of the kicks was closed.